


Sneaking Out of Heaven With Balthazar

by crOwnlEssG



Series: Notes Tied to Balloons [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Family, Angel Siblings, Angelic Family, Angelic Siblings, Angels, Brothers, Castiel's childhood, Castiel's fledglinghood, Childhood, Collection of stories, Family, First story, Fledglinghood, Fledglings, Gen, Heaven, Mini-story, Notes Tied to Balloons, NttB, Pre-Series, Series: Notes Tied to Balloons, Sneaking Out of Heaven, Sneaking Out of Heaven With Balthazar, Three chapters, stories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 17:55:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crOwnlEssG/pseuds/crOwnlEssG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a fledgling, Castiel had a very big, very interesting family. Each story will stand on its own and will consist of three chapters. First story's up!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Remember when Cas mentioned that his true form's as big as the Chrysler building? Here, angels get bigger the older they get, so Cas and some of the other angels will be about kid-sized.

  
_You and I both are nothing but thieves_  
We take what we want when we need  
 _I had a chance for a better life_  
 _But all that I've known is to_  
 _Run, run, run, from a devil in disguise_  
 _Like a bullet, a bullet, a bullet into the night_  
 _We are the last generation of hope_  
 _And I wouldn't mind if_  
 _Together we died alone_  


_._

_Bullet – Steel Train_

* * *

"Hurry up, Castiel! You're slowing us down!" Balthazar called out over his shoulder. He loved his brother, he honestly did, but if Castiel would lag behind him one more time, he was going to kick him into the nearest cloud and hope that he would at least escape detection by then.

"Why are we being chased anyway?" cried out Castiel.

Balthazar did not reply until they reached a path that went downward. "I might've… borrowed something from the Garden as a keepsake." he slyly said. He pulled the golden apple slightly out from where he was keeping it, enough to an extent that Castiel could see it for himself.

Without even turning around, he knew that the face his brother had on right now was anything but pleased.

" _You stole from the Garden?_ " Castiel exclaimed, and _now_ he decided to fly a little faster. "Balthazar, you _know_ that it's forbidden to take anything there! It's no wonder we are being sought out!"

Balthazar tried hard not to snicker. "It's also forbidden for any fledglings to _enter_ the Garden." he remarked.

Behind him, he heard Castiel stop flying for the briefest of seconds before speeding all the way next to him. "You told me we're allowed!" he yelled.

"I lied." said Balthazar.

"Then you deserve whatever punishment they're going to give you!" Castiel huffed out.

The air crackled with electricity and the two of them barely dodged a stream of lightning bolts in time.

"They'll punish you too, you know. It was you who got us into the Garden." Balthazar said, chuckling.

"That's because you lied to me! I would never have done it otherwise." said Castiel worriedly.

"Well, you've always wanted to see what it looked like on the inside, and now you have." Balthazar laughed. "Besides, there's nothing more we can do now. They're after you and me, so we might as well make a hasty retreat."

"Balthazar – "

"Or do you wish to explain the situation to our pursuers?"

If Castiel were human, Balthazar bet his wings that he would be paling by now.

"So what do you suggest we do?" asked Castiel.

Balthazar spared a final survey at where they were. "We can't stay in Heaven; it's too heavily patrolled." he said. "That leaves Earth,"

" _Earth_? Balthazar, we've… We don't know how to choose a vessel yet, let alone inhabit one." said Castiel.

"Would you stop worrying, brother? Everything is under control. We're…" Balthazar tried not to admit that they were still fledglings, because while that was the truth and while that was actually an advantage right now, admitting that felt like saying that they were weaker, more vulnerable, easy targets. "…not fully grown yet. Only matured angels require vessels. We can interact with what's on Earth as we are without giving away our signature, unlike our older siblings who break and burn everything with a single touch."

Castiel was looking at him with pleading, hopeful blue orbs. "Promise me you're not lying this time," he said.

"I promise, Castiel. And I'll take care of everything once we arrive." said Balthazar, matching his brother's gaze.

Castiel appeared unsure, but he nodded eventually anyway. Together, they escaped Heaven's gates and hurtled down to Earth.

O_x

Visits to Earth were never that common, hence landings had not been that tackled. When they tumbled down onto a forest, Balthazar landed on top of Castiel and plowed him into the ground.

"Get... off me… Balthazar." moaned Castiel.

Balthazar was already getting up before his brother even spoke. "Has anyone ever told you that you make a very soft landing pad?" he snickered.

An icy blue glare met him and, for a second, Castiel almost looked threatening.

"Come on, brother; let me help you up." said Balthazar as he pulled Castiel from where he was half-buried in the soil.

Once they both got their bearings, they took in the full scale of their surroundings: it was the middle of the night, the grass made wet by a thick mist. Shadowy trees towered over them and it was virtually like they were in the midst of a gathering of their older siblings which, all things considered, was a daunting thought.

"What do we do now?" Castiel asked.

"Nothing but hide and wait for them to grow tired." said Balthazar.

"That could take decades."

"It's not like we have anything better to do anyway."

Castiel turned away from him and went forward a little bit, staring at the mist. "This is bad. Coming down here… We're just going to get into more trouble. Maybe we should just go back and – "

"No! Castiel, we are not going back to Heaven, not now." Balthazar interjected.

When he saw his brother's frightened expression, he toned down and projected an encouraging aura. "Everything will be fine. If we _are_ going to be punished, we might as well make the most of our time here and enjoy ourselves." He extended himself and spun in place, twisting and curling some of the mist to form a foggy whirlpool around him. "Look at us! We're on Earth; not a lot of fledglings could achieve such a feat!" he proclaimed.

Castiel looked around, as if noticing for the first time that they were indeed where Balthazar said they were. "I suppose you're right." he muttered.

"You _suppose_? Would it hurt you to show a bit more enthusiasm?" said Balthazar. He glanced at the copious amount of mist and an idea was sparked. "Are you up for a contest of creativity? Or are you afraid that I will beat you once more?"

Castiel stiffened and the light of his Grace grew brighter. "I will not lose again." he said seriously.

"We'll see about that."

They spent a good part of the evening shaping the mist into structures and creatures, each handiwork trying to obliterate the other. A 'tree' fell on a 'bird'. A 'giant' crushed the 'tree'. A 'dragon' annihilated the 'giant'. A 'stick' poked at the 'dragon's' throat and made it throw up so much it died.

("How can a stick kill a dragon?"

"It's a special stick."

"How can it be special? It's a stick!"

"It just is, alright? The whole point of this is to be creative!"

"Fine! But from now on, no more special anything!")

They went back to fabricating things from the mist for a little while longer until they felt a third presence within the area. They cleared out their works and made the mist smooth again; once that was completed, they did their best to hide themselves, which meant dimming their light, concealing their Grace and making themselves as small as possible.

If the newcomer was an angel – specifically, one that was searching for them – fleeing would be a terrible option; the two of them might be fast but the ones after them were faster. If the newcomer turned out to be human then it would also be a risky situation, since humans were not supposed to see angels in their true forms.

After a few seconds, to their relief, the new comer happened to be neither. Regardless, they did not move from where they were huddled; if anything, they made the shadows and mist enveloping them thicker.

A large being emerged from the trees, its shape was that of an exaggeratedly lanky human but its color was a spillage of the darkest of blue speckled with glimmering light. Great power radiated from it, enough to label it a threat. Balthazar turned to Castiel to see if he knew what this creature was; however, he made it apparent that he did not have a clue either.

They watched until the creature vanished from sight, and eventually from their senses. Balthazar got up when he deemed that it was safe. "Let's follow it."

"Why?" Castiel inquired tensely.

"I want to see what it does." he replied, already going after it.

"It floats around in a forest at night." attempted Castiel. "Balthazar, please, let's just go. I don't like this."

Instead, Balthazar grabbed his brother and pulled him forward. "You're always worrying. For all we know, we could've discovered a whole new species! Surely that would be enough to clear our names?" he excitedly pointed out.

"But that kind of discovery is highly unlikely – "

"Unlikely but not impossible." stated Balthazar. "Have faith, Castiel. There's a reason why we saw that creature in the first place."

Finally, Castiel agreed and moved beside him rather than being dragged at the rear.

It did not take long for them to find the creature again, and at that point, they had entered a sort of clearing. They stopped and observed from afar as the creature approached a wooden structure, the type that humans dwelled in.

"I think it's called a house." said Castiel.

"A house? Well, that's a stupid name." Balthazar remarked.

The creature went through the walls and was at once inside the house. In a square opening illuminated by a small fire inside, the two of them could see a tiny human – who was nearly their size – doing… something. The human was waving an object around and making odd, repetitive noises. They were not sure what the human was doing, but it seemed like a very pleasing task.

"Balthazar," Castiel began. "Is this what… 'playing' looks like?" he wondered.

"I think it is." said Balthazar in awe after a while.

Angels were never allowed to play; there was simply too much that needed to be done and they had been told that activities such as 'playing' were a waste of time. As they continued to watch, they wondered if something this enjoyable should really be banned, they wondered if there was more to existence than just training to be soldiers.

They had completely forgotten about the creature they had been tracking until it appeared in the same room as the human. Suddenly, the predicament was not so light-hearted anymore. The creature was definitely supernatural, and the reality that it was in such close proximity to a human will never end well for the latter. The human appeared oblivious to the creature as it got nearer and nearer.

Before either Balthazar or Castiel could think of what to do, the creature produced a pouch from its dark depths. The creature reached in and sprinkled its contents – sand, as it turned out – over the human. The human's movements gradually slowed before stilling altogether; the human dropped its play-thing and fell limply forward.

Balthazar felt Castiel cower beside him, but he kept his brother in place.

"It just killed that human." whimpered Castiel.

"We… We don't know that for sure." said Balthazar, although even he did not believe his own words.

The creature then towered over the human; what followed after was the creature scooping out the human's eyes.

Castiel cringed and sniveled and Balthazar found himself copying him.

"Balthazar, let's go. I don't want to be on Earth anymore." pleaded Castiel.

As much as Balthazar wanted to leave, several thoughts stopped him. "We can't just abandon this. We're responsible for this." he said.

"We didn't do anything!" Castiel exclaimed.

"I know, and we should've. We just watched that human die and get its eyes taken out. We could have stopped that creature before it even got here!" said Balthazar. "That human died because of us. We should… We should avenge it!"

Castiel looked as if he did not know what to do anymore. "I don't want to get into any more trouble." he said quietly.

With this attitude, Balthazar wondered if Castiel had made the right choice in becoming a soldier. "You want to be a soldier, right? This is what soldiers do: they fight those who did wrong!"

Castiel broke away from his gaze but Balthazar knew that he had made his point. "We'll do it for the human." he ultimately said.

"For the human." Balthazar agreed. Then, he realized another thing. "What do we do?"

A calculating look entered Castiel. "That pouch. If we get it and use it on the creature…"

"I think that's a very apt punishment. Good work, brother." admired Balthazar.

Castiel smiled, which was a rare occurrence. "I'll keep it occupied while you steal the pouch." he instructed.

"Gladly,"

They went their separate ways almost immediately afterward; Balthazar hid in the shadows while Castiel sped off the other direction to wait for the creature to exit. When the creature finally came out of the house, Castiel started to telekinetically snap off branches and hurl them one by one at the target.

The creature was hit by the first batch of branches, and Balthazar was thankful that at least they were dealing with something solid. Unfortunately, the creature quickly recovered and soon it was dodging branches fluidly. If the creature continued to adapt, Balthazar knew that it would only be a matter of time before the creature reached Castiel; Balthazar decided it was time for him to act.

He crept toward the creature from behind, trying to remember where its pouch was hidden. It would have been simpler if he could just telekinetically summon the pouch, but the creature's power was blocking him from doing so. The creature was just within his reach when he felt a wave of power fleetingly go through it; less than a second later, Balthazar witnessed Castiel being blasted away by the creature's outstretched hand. From the sound of it, Castiel was hurt.

Fear filled him for an instant, immobilizing him; he was alone now and his brother could be severely injured. Balthazar wanted to fall back but then remembered the point of doing all of this; if he retreated, everything would have been in vain. He was about to get a hold of the creature when – too late – his presence was acknowledged and Balthazar had to distance himself.

" _What is the meaning of this_?" the creature rasped, its voice as thin as frost in the air and as sharp as broken light.

Balthazar found it hard to speak all of a sudden. He got into a battle-ready stance yet the pose was off-balance. "You killed that human." he said.

The creature went closer to him, squinting what had to be its eyes in assessment. " _I put him to sleep; him and the rest of his siblings._ " it replied.

Sleep? What was sleep, Balthazar wondered. Another term for murder perhaps? "And you stole the human's eyes." he pressed on.

" _That,_ " it began. " _Is true. I need human eyes to feed my family._ "

Where was Castiel? "You won't get away with this. We'll stop you." Balthazar said.

The creature laughed, which was a misleadingly gentle, soothing sound. " _Stop me? You have some nerve believing you can stand against me, insolent fly._ " It glanced up at the sky and returned to Balthazar wearing a livid expression. " _You and your accomplice have overthrown my schedule! There is no way I can collect enough eyes to satisfy my family now._ "

At that, Balthazar was appreciative for this small consolation.

" _Although,_ " the creature said slowly. " _I don't think they would mind a substitution in their diet._ "

Before Balthazar could process things, the creature had its pouch out and practically its entire worth of sand was coming straight for him.

"Look out!"

That was Castiel's voice. When Balthazar was up to pace with reality again, Castiel had already pushed him several feet away. This was a good turn of events; with the advantage of numbers on their side, and with the stock of enchanted sand out of the way, they could beat this creature. Though without the sand, they needed to think of another plan, but now the creature was without its main weapon and certainly his and Castiel's combined power can overcome their adversary.

"We have you now." announced Balthazar confidently.

" _Quite not._ " it said, grinning. " _My sand may be gone, but I have your brother._ "

Balthazar tensed and immediately turned to where Castiel was. He discovered that the sand that had been meant to hit him did not fall to the ground; instead, the sand – every grain of it, it seemed – had struck Castiel when he pushed him out of the way.

"Balthazar," Castiel called out weakly as he stumbled backward into a tree. "I don't… feel well."

The light of his Grace was flickering and Castiel was having more and more trouble trying to keep himself straight.

He was dying.

"Castiel!" Balthazar rushed over to his brother and acted as his support. No, no, no, no. Castiel cannot die; this was not supposed to happen!

" _It seems that my sand has a slow effect on angels, but it's working, undeniably working. He will be asleep soon enough and then I shall have him._ " it purred. " _I wonder how the eye of an angel will taste like?_ "

Balthazar held Castiel tighter, striving not to panic at the fact that his brother's light was getting dimmer.

" _I have been given many names, little ones: The Sandman, Ole Lukøje, Morpheus... But you can call me your worst nightmare."_ the creature said gleefully.

Balthazar had had enough. "Castiel, we're leaving." he said.

They took flight. It was strange how in Heaven they had fled to escape punishment, and now on Earth they were fleeing to escape death.

TBC


	2. Part 2

  
_You're words still serenade me,  
Your lullabies won't let me sleep  
I've never heard such a haunting  
Melody. Oh, it's killing me  
You know I can barely breathe  
_ _._   
_Just like a crow chasing the butterfly_   
_Dandelions lost in the summer sky_   
_When you and I were getting_   
_High as outer space, I never_   
_Thought you'd slip away_   
_I guess I was just a little too late_   


_._

_The Crow and the Butterfly - Shinedown_

* * *

Balthazar took them to the other side of the forest. It was hundreds of miles from where they had left the Sandman and he figured this distance would suffice. Hopefully.

When the shock of the matter had settled off, Balthazar went to check Castiel's condition again: it was bad – really bad – and it seemed that it would get worse. Castiel's formerly smooth-flowing Grace was flickering erratically, and the once bright form of his brother was gradually losing light by the second.

And as if things were not bad enough, when Balthazar attempted to get rid of the sand in the hopes that the effects would diminish, he discovered that every last grain had already entered Castiel's being and there was nothing he could do about that now.

He felt so useless. How could everything have turned out this way? Why did it have to be like this?

"Balthazar," Castiel called out. He sounded so weak, so fragile; it did not sound like him at all. "What's... going to happen… to me? What…?"

His words trailed off as he began to helplessly tip forward; Balthazar caught him before he hit a stone. This had to be the effects of the sand, slowly draining energy away until nothing remained. Castiel's light got dimmer again.

"I'm so sorry, brother; I'm so sorry. I should've… I wouldn't… Castiel, I'm so sorry." quivered Balthazar.

For some reason, even with his brother like this in his hold, he could not bring himself to admit that none of this would have ever happened if he had just kept in line. This whole mess was his fault, Castiel was nearing death because of him and he was still letting pride get in the way. But he meant his apologies so much that it hurt saying them, and as he thought about it, he wanted to hurt.

Castiel was always good; he followed the rules and paid more attention to others than himself. He should not be the one slowly dying right now; he did not deserve this.

"It should've been me." Balthazar thought.

He was so consumed with his thoughts that he could not stop Castiel from straightening up, which was such a slow process. "Don't be sorry. I should've... aimed the branches better." said Castiel using a great deal of effort. "I should've been faster. The Sandman... almost got you."

Balthazar could not believe this. Castiel was the one dying and he was the one who felt he needed to do better, not to mention that he was less worried about his own deteriorating condition. "Castiel, no, stop. You are _not_ the one who's taking the blame here. For once, I am!" said Balthazar.

His brother's light became dimmer again, a reminder that Castiel was running out of time. They needed to fix this, and soon! But how? How can something like this be remedied?

Before Balthazar could think of anything, a voice echoed throughout the forest and shook the canopy.

" _You cannot flee from me that easily. I will follow you. I will find you. You can't escape sleep once it has you in its grasp."_

This was not good, not good at all. How could the Sandman be able to follow them this far? Then, it came to Balthazar that that did not matter at the moment. They had to get out of here _now_.

Balthazar grabbed hold of Castiel, who was weakening so considerably that he did not look like he can fly on his own anymore. "Let's go, brother; it's not safe here."

They took flight again.

O_x

This time, they landed in the middle of a field of corn, far, far away from the forest.

"Castiel, are you alright?" Balthazar asked.

Castiel did not respond; he was just sitting there, dazed, as if he had not heard him.

"Brother? Please answer me, are you alright? Castiel?" Balthazar fearfully shook him to grab his attention. When that did not work, he moved onto tugging his wings with double the force; Castiel always hated him for doing that.

This time, a spark of pain flared out of Castiel's Grace and his gaze found Balthazar's. "I... I'm so tired. Why do I... Why do I feel so... so tired?" Castiel inquired, fatigue dripping off every word.

Balthazar did his utmost best to calm down, though his words still came out extremely nervous. "Just be strong. You'll pull through this." he declared. "I mean, you _better_ pull through this. I don't want to carry you around all day."

For a little bit, it almost appeared as though some of Castiel's light was returning, yet when Balthazar leaned in closer, that was not the case.

"What's sleep?" muttered Castiel.

"I'm not sure. But whatever that means, I won't let that happen to you." said Balthazar.

"Sleep sounds scary... I don't want that."

Castiel's light flickered and dimmed again.

A gentle breeze was soon blowing over the cornfield, creating a rustling sound. Balthazar scanned the area for anything that could be useful but the only thing here was corn, and frankly, there was not a lot of use with corn. He decided to further extend his search-range for, at least, a better shelter, and Heaven certainly was not a candidate for that since they were still being sought after there too.

Then, Balthazar noticed that Castiel's light was fading unusually faster. Before the rising panic in him even reached its zenith, the next thing he noticed was that there was a giant shadow looming over his brother.

In an instant, Balthazar realized that it was the Sandman and he was speeding up the deterioration of Castiel's condition; Castiel was either too tired to know what was going on or he was perfectly aware of what was happening but no longer had the energy to move. Whatever the reason, Balthazar wasted no time and grabbed Castiel just as the Sandman was about to sink his claws in him.

"Can you still fly?" Balthazar frantically asked.

The Sandman struck with his claws again and Balthazar was hardly able to maneuver both of them to safety.

"I can fly." murmured Castiel.

"Good." sighed Balthazar.

In less than a second, they were off to the next country.

O_x

They were in a valley, at the outskirts of a human settlement.

Balthazar was appalled that already half of Castiel's light was gone. With the threat of the Sandman momentarily out of the way, he decided to put their limited time to good use by inspecting the rest of the state of his brother: his form was damaged all over, and if Balthazar had to guess, it was from when the Sandman had launched him through the forest. The marks looked like they hurt, but the pain they bore did not have much of an effect on Castiel, at least not anymore. His wings also appeared far too frayed.

Castiel's balance was starting to fail him again and Balthazar was quick to support him.

"Balthazar," murmured Castiel.

"I'm still here, brother. And I can't believe I'm saying this but I won't leave you alone." said Balthazar.

Once close contact was established between them, Balthazar could feel that Castiel's healing was not in effect, which explained why his external form remained battered. Balthazar wanted to help out in any way he can, but he only knew how to heal himself, not others; their superior had not taught them how to do that yet. He could always let this be his first try but he did not want to risk inflicting more damage than what he had already caused.

"I can't… fight it… I don't know… how to fight this." Castiel admitted wearily, his light flickering again.

Glancing around, as if an answer was hidden somewhere in the gloom, Balthazar's focus landed on the human settlement before them. "Maybe the humans know a way. If the Sandman has been targeting humans all this time, then surely they must have a solution to fend off the effects." he said.

Balthazar placed Castiel against a boulder as he rose to his full height. "I'll be swift. I'll ask the humans if they know anything about – "

"Don't." Castiel cut in. "Brother, don't."

"Why not? If they know of a cure, you'll certainly be saved!" said Balthazar.

"They don't have a cure… If they did… the Sandman wouldn't be… be targeting them so easily… anymore."

He had a point; even in his destabilized state, he still made the most sense. "Castiel, I still have to try." pressed on Balthazar.

Castiel gave a shake of disapproval. "Forbidden for us… to interact… with humans directly anyway… If one of them sees you… in your form… alarms in Heaven will be tripped… We'll be caught."

Balthazar felt his Grace crackle in frustration. He knew Castiel was right but he was not given a lot of options at the moment and time was slipping away; he felt so trapped. Stupid humans. Why did they have to be so… _useless_? Do they know _anything_ other than just lugging around?

At the edge of his vision, Balthazar noted the arrival of mist from the west. He would have disregarded it if he had not recalled that there had been an expanse of mist in the forest where they first encountered the Sandman.

Balthazar did not take any chances.

"Castiel, we have to leave. Now." he said urgently, pulling at his brother. However, Castiel did not look like he was going to move any time soon. "Castiel, we have to go!"

A little more of Castiel's light faded away and Balthazar really did not like how slowly Castiel turned before staring at him, and he really, _really_ did not like how listless his gaze had become.

"I'm so tired." Castiel said, almost like a plea.

"I know, brother; I know. But we have to keep moving." said Balthazar beseechingly.

Eventually, they took off again.

O_x

They did not get far. They materialized at the edge of a rocky cliff, just above the valley they had previously been in. Balthazar was beginning to really panic.

"Castiel, we have to move farther. The Sandman can easily get us here." he said insistently.

Castiel was trembling beside him – from exhaustion, from the effects of the sand, Balthazar had no idea – and it was an upsetting sight. "I'm so tired… so tired… Please, I want to rest." he muttered.

How he had said those words nearly made Balthazar want to comply in an instant; his brother was suffering greatly and Balthazar would do anything to alleviate it. However, if Castiel rested now, here, the Sandman might catch up to them, and then none of them would be safe.

"I'm sorry, but we must keep flying." he said ruefully.

He picked up his brother and they were gone.

O_x

They were soaring over the ocean, with Balthazar searching for a suitable place and Castiel hanging onto him and flapping his wings jadedly. With every couple of wing beats, Castiel's light wavered more and more. It was something that urged Balthazar to go faster and bear the weight of both of them. He wondered if the Sandman can cross oceans, and then he figured that it was probably best to be safe rather than sorry and kept speeding across the night skies.

All of a sudden, Balthazar felt Castiel stop flying for a second, which momentarily disrupted their balance and almost sent Castiel spiralling down to the water.

"What's happening?" asked Balthazar anxiously once they were, more or less, steady once again.

"I don't... I don't think I can... keep flying... much longer." said Castiel with hardly any energy left in him.

Balthazar tightened his hold on him and flew them faster. "Yes, you can, brother. At least let me find land. Come on, at least that. It won't be long, I can feel it. I promise, just a few more miles," he said, despite the fact that all he could sense was the ocean.

Even without glancing at him, Balthazar knew that Castiel's light was flickering dramatically. "Balthazar... I can't..." Castiel began.

"Come on! Don't give up!" yelled Balthazar.

"I..."

Before Balthazar could do anything, Castiel was plummeting toward the ocean.

" _Castiel_!" he screamed, in the hope of getting his brother to take off. Castiel nevertheless broke the ocean surface and sank. Balthazar immediately followed suit and dived in after him.

It was pitch-dark under the surface, but he had no problem in seeing that his brother was descending like he was created from stone. Sharks and squids made way for them, scared away by their light and with how fast they were going.

" _Castiel_! CASTIEL!" Balthazar tried again. Castiel, however, was not showing any promising signs of responding. The most infuriating (if not fear-provoking) fact was that Balthazar was aware that Castiel could see him, but he was not reacting in the slightest, like there was no one actually coming for him, or like he did not care that he was sinking further and further into the abyss.

Castiel's light was quickly fading by the time they were near the bottom of the ocean, and while the pressure of such depths had no effect on angels, creatures such as the leviathan and malevolent nymphs posed as serious threats, especially since they were likely to lurk along these levels. With a final burst of speed, Balthazar at last succeeded in grabbing Castiel.

He tried not to think about how unresisting and lifeless Castiel was when he pulled at him; Balthazar just kept his attention locked on the direction of the surface. It occurred to him just how bad Castiel's condition had gotten, and that it was continuously going to get worse if they could not find a way to fix this. Castiel was still alive, that much Balthazar was absolutely certain, but he was really enervated.

He noticed the golden apple he had plucked from the Garden fall out of him and go down into the dark. The thought of retrieving it did not even cross his mind.

After what seemed like forever, they broke the surface.

"Castiel? Castiel, are you alright?" Balthazar apprehensively inquired.

Castiel did not answer, did not even _look_ at him.

"Castiel? _Castiel_? Talk to me; are you alright?"

When his brother still did not react, Balthazar, desperate, started pulling at his wings again; Castiel's Grace did not so much as twitch. Thinking fast, he resorted to extending his Grace to Castiel's, or more precisely, poking the most sensitive part of his brother's form with bolts of shock. Thankfully, he only had to do it once for Castiel to jolt out of his stupor; he was reanimated with a start and flailed about the water for a bit.

"B-Balthazar?" said Castiel once he had gathered himself.

Balthazar sent a silent thanks to their Father, wherever he may be right now. He nearly let out a hysterical laugh at the blessed fact that Castiel was still alive but he reined it in. "You don't have any strength left to fly, do you?" he asked in a faux lackadaisical attitude.

"I'm sorry." Castiel muttered shamefully.

"It's alright. I think the flying was weakening you anyway." dismissed Balthazar. He scanned their area for miles, striving to find any stretch of land, even if it was just a rock that rose out of the waves; all the while, he held his brother close so as to prevent him from sinking again.

Finally, he spotted land, and it was near.

"Castiel, we're going to swim to land. It's not far; I'm sure even you can make it." said Balthazar encouragingly.

The way Castiel looked at him made Balthazar's Grace pang with guilt and concern. "I'm… so tired." he whispered desperately.

"We'll make it." Balthazar assured, beaming with forced hope. "We'll make it, I know we will."

Adjusting his grip on his brother, Balthazar led them to shore.

O_x

They sought refuge in a small cave, which was more like a slit cracked into the mountains than anything else. By the time they were inside, Castiel was trembling again and there was hardly any light that remained in him.

"... so tired... so t-tired..."

"I know, brother. Just a little further,"

Balthazar guided Castiel to the end of the cave, trying his best to keep his dread and tension masked from his brother. They needed to make their stay here a short one; the sooner they could leave, the sooner they could travel to find a cure. Personally, he did not require a rest; he could go around the world seven times even in this state. In fact, he could just leave Castiel here to recuperate while he searched for a cure, a course of action that would definitely save them time and spare his brother the effort.

He still went deeper into the cave though.

As far as things went, Balthazar nonetheless believed that stopping here was a bad idea. The Sandman could catch up to them, or worse, their siblings. But Castiel seemed barely able to move another inch, and the constant travelling was really draining him, practically helping the effects of the sand along. If they kept this up, his brother would have less of a chance of making it.

It pained Balthazar to see him like this. Castiel was known to be fast, accurate and dexterous; now his movements were sluggish, clumsy and pitiful. When Castiel's light flickered again, it caused him to falter in his movements and he stumbled. Balthazar caught him and he decided that this was far enough.

"Rest here for a while. When dawn comes, we'll head east." said Balthazar as he placed his brother on a bed of moss.

Castiel appeared as if he was having a difficult time concentrating, which was a first. "Thank you." he murmured eventually.

Balthazar sent him a heartening pulse from his Grace – of which Castiel returned faintly – before he started warding the cave with protective sigils. At the moment, he only knew a handful of sigils, most of which were not really that useful on his account, but he made up for the inadequacy by carving as many sigils as the walls, roof and floor allowed.

Silence was established, only to be later broken when Castiel feebly called out, "Balthazar,"

Balthazar immediately halted his progress. "Yes?"

"I'm scared." he admitted.

If Balthazar had the necessity to breathe, his breath would have caught at that. Castiel was scared. He, on the other hand, was filled to the brim with sheer terror that would haunt him for eternity and just about ready to fall apart. He did not know how much longer he can handle this; he had no idea if fear or insanity would get to him first but he knew that both of them were coming for him anyway. This – all of this – was too much for any fledgling to deal with.

"Soldiers get scared too." said Balthazar, pulling up a strong, easy-going facade.

He went back to working on the sigils. Dawn never seemed to take so long in arriving.

TBC


	3. Part 3

  
_And with the early dawn_   
_Moving right along_   
_I couldn't buy an eyeful of sleep_   
_And in the aching night under satellites_   
_I was not received_   
_Built with stolen parts_   
_A telephone in my heart_   
_Someone get me a priest_   
_To put my mind to bed_   
_This ringing in my head_   
_Is this a cure or is this a disease_   


_._

_Show Me How to Live – Audioslave_

* * *

Dawn came, at last, and Balthazar had never been more relieved to see it. He went back inside the cave to fetch his brother.

"Castiel, dawn is here! We have to keep moving again." Balthazar announced.

Castiel did not respond, though Balthazar figured that much. He returned to the spot where he had left him, ready to pick his brother up once more and carry him all the way if he had to, when he came to an abrupt stop.

When he last saw him, Castiel barely had any light for his form. Now, however, he had no light at all.

Balthazar was at his side in less than a heartbeat, endeavoring to push aside his initial thought that they were already too late. "Castiel? _Castiel_? Brother, if you can hear me, give me a sign! _Castiel_!" he screamed.

Castiel remained totally unresponsive, and dark. There was no warmth radiating off him, no flick of Grace, no anything. He was barely a shadow on the moss and it was as if a light breeze could carry him away like the seeds of a dandelion until he disappeared completely. His wings had lost their splendor, right to the point that wilted, trampled flowers appeared far better in comparison.

Sheer terror rising like the sun behind him, Balthazar did everything he could to elicit a response from Castiel: he tugged at his brother's wings, with each attempt growing more desperate to the extent that he found himself yanking so hard he was almost snapping them.

When that was not affecting him, Balthazar tired to pull Castiel up, thinking that maybe his position on the ground was interfering and blocking the flow of his Grace. He was absolutely horrified to learn that he could hardly touch him, since his grip was literally going through his brother. Balthazar gave several more attempts at grabbing Castiel; however, it was like he had human hands trying to gather water in the same manner as picking up a stick. Castiel was there, he could feel him, but before Balthazar can secure him, his brother would slip away.

Angels' forms were comprised of Grace and pure light, and since Castiel had no light on him anymore, he did not have much of a form to latch onto either.

That left his Grace. Balthazar extended his Grace to Castiel again, hoping that something would happen this time. Normally, it was not hard to find the Grace of another, but for Castiel, it was as if he was sifting through layers upon layers of empty ether and mazes of undisturbed nothingness. The experience became more frightening the deeper he went. For a moment, Balthazar thought that Castiel's Grace was gone, that all hope was lost.

That his brother was dead.

And there, at the very base of his being, was Castiel's Grace, dull and petrified like the surface of a thick sheet of ice. Balthazar projected a tremendous deal of warmth and light from his own Grace and into his brother's, yet they all slipped off and bounced right back into him. Appalled, Balthazar tried again, and he was met with the same result.

With his Grace still within, it was safe to assume that Castiel was not yet dead, which meant that he could still be saved – Balthazar had to stop himself from succumbing to hysterical laughter at that small victory. He can still save him, he can still fix this and he can do it on his own.

Suddenly, the world outside became cloudier and darker as a harsh wind snaked its way into the cave.

_He's asleep at last. Now I can have his eyes._

Balthazar's wings opened up in (not fear, not fear, he was not afraid of him, he was _not_!) preparation to take flight again. The Sandman was here, right at the mouth of the cave. Balthazar scrambled to get a hold of Castiel, which was a near-impossible task. He could sense the Sandman getting closer, moving slowly as if taunting them. As Balthazar strived to pick his brother up, he tried to think of a place they could go to in order to get the Sandman off their trail. There had to be somewhere safe, somewhere extremely far and very protected, a place that had everything they needed and maybe someone that could help them like...

...Heaven.

It was then that Balthazar realized that, no matter how far on Earth they would go, the Sandman will always be nearby. This chase would never stop; the Sandman knew Earth better than they did and what Castiel needed the most was a cure, which would only be delayed if they had to keep watching out for the Sandman.

Their return in Heaven will not be pretty, but Balthazar figured that whatever punishment was in store for them, saving Castiel will far outweigh that.

" _Balthazar... I'm scared_."

Those had been Castiel's final words to him. He will not let his brother die with his final words being those; he will not allow it.

At last, Balthazar got a steady hold on Castiel's lifeless form and flew to Heaven, just as the Sandman was a hairsbreadth away. The last thing Balthazar heard was the wind screaming in anguish.

O_x

They appeared at the entrance of Heaven's Infirmary. Balthazar was thankful that there was no one else in here other than a Healer – Mumiah from the look of it – watching over the whole place. After readjusting his grip on Castiel, Balthazar went over to Mumiah just as the emotions and trauma he had accumulated on Earth were just becoming too overwhelming.

The last bit of distance to Mumiah was an inelegant, desperate zoom. Castiel remained dark and utterly lifeless all throughout and suddenly Balthazar just could not take it anymore.

"You have to cure him! You have to! He doesn't deserve to die, especially not like this! It's all my fault and…" Everything just tumbled out of him, the fear, the pain, the frustration, the guilt. It was all just too much; it was too much!

Balthazar glanced at Castiel again, who was hanging off him like there was no life left in him, his lackluster wings dragging beneath him. When he looked away, Balthazar discovered that he was crying, but instead of tears like with humans, light as dazzling as a dying star was streaming from his orbs. He knew it was pathetic to show this level of emotion, he was also aware that Mumiah was encircling them and taking every detail into account, but right now Balthazar could not care less.

"Fix him, please. He's my brother." he whispered. He never begged for anything; if he wanted something, he would just get it on his own. But this was different; this was an exception. He will beg his wings off if he had to.

"Calm down. And he's my brother too so don't talk to me like that." said Mumiah, coming to a halt in front of them. He was older than Balthazar and Castiel's ages put together, making Mumiah very big and very formidable as a Healer. Despite the threatening size, he still exuded the calming aura of his position; however, that hardly eased the pressure in Balthazar's Grace.

As if sensing his thoughts, Mumiah stooped down to their level. "What happened exactly?" he asked.

Balthazar knew he could always lie. Mumiah did not have to know everything; he would just report this to their superiors straight away.

He told him everything anyway. _Everything_.

When Balthazar was done, Mumiah had on a pensive expression. "I see. So he's asleep,"

"I know!" yelled Balthazar angrily. He just told him that! Had he not been listening to him? Then he realized that they were just wasting time like this. "You can fix him, right? Bring him back?" he inquired urgently.

"Balthazar, sleep is nothing to get concerned about. It's far different from death. Humans do it every night to regain energy. It's a sort of long rest actually, except it's a phase wherein consciousness is lost." Mumiah explained.

That sounded awful. Time would pass and they would not know what happened during that period; he could not comprehend having those kinds of gaps. How could humans live like that? They had such short lives and because of this 'sleep'-phase their existence would practically be made shorter _every night_. It was horrible, and it sickened Balthazar to know that Castiel was presently undergoing that.

"But Castiel's not human. Is that still bad?" he worriedly asked.

"Technically, angels don't sleep. We have no need of it. Castiel is merely… unconscious, unresponsive." said Mumiah.

Unconscious. Unresponsive. He did not say dead. Then that meant Castiel was not dying.

"His Grace… I can't feel it. And he has no light." pointed out Balthazar anxiously.

"Just as the shroud of evening is cast over the Earth, the sun is simply concealed, not gone." Mumiah moved forward and effortlessly managed to scoop Castiel from Balthazar and into his hold. Castiel followed the movements without any resistance, and Balthazar had to push down hard the idea of him nearing death.

It was difficult not to picture him as dying. Castiel looked so helpless and oblivious as he was being carried by Mumiah; his form was a cold, barely touchable phantom of a shadow and his wings were drooping miserably on his back, seemingly ready to fall off like leaves in autumn. How could this be regarded as 'rest'? It looked more like an irreparable damage that might as well be death.

Mumiah was staring at him as if he had just blurted out all of his fears and concerns. "I just need to remove the sand from him and he will be alright." he assured softly.

"How? I've tried –" Balthazar began.

"You're not a Healer like I am. Leave it to me; it will be a quick process." The words sounded like a promise, and the sheer fact that Mumiah did not seem worried was cause for hope and relief.

Castiel was not going to die. He will be fine; he will be conscious again. Part of Balthazar felt a little annoyed that he had to go through all the stress of believing that his brother was dying. However, he could not prevent a tremble of great joy passing through his form as his wings lowered in ease.

Mumiah was holding Castiel as if he were a human infant. Castiel actually looked smaller and less of a threat than he already was and Balthazar would have laughed at his expense if it were any other situation. He watched as Mumiah methodically pored over Castiel's state, and he stood back in awe as a fine silvery light materialized from Mumiah's Grace. It swept over Castiel's hardly-there form and eventually Balthazar came to the conclusion that it was to better take into account the extent of the Sandman's effects. When Mumiah seemed satisfied, the silver light disappeared and he turned away from Balthazar with Castiel in his possession.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Balthazar exclaimed, catching up to Mumiah.

"All healing is strictly to be done inside the Infirmary." replied Mumiah passively.

"But you said it would be a quick process! Why not just do it here?" argued Balthazar.

"It is the Law in Heaven." said Mumiah, turning to face him in his full form. There was authority in his voice now, the kind which indicated he would not hesitate in taking extreme measures simply to make a point. "Do you wish to break another one?"

At that, Balthazar knew it was time to stand down.

The menacing atmosphere vanished and Mumiah's aura returned to emanating waves of calm and safety. He studied Castiel again, who had not moved once in his hold.

"I won't remove the sand right away though. He looks like he really needs the rest." said Mumiah.

Balthazar was on the verge of arguing when he realized that Mumiah's last words were true. Even though there was barely any detail and substance that remained in Castiel's form, Balthazar could easily see that Castiel had been badly hurt during their time on Earth. There were scorch marks from when the Sandman had blasted him away, and there were multiple cuts from when he must have smashed into several branches during that same blast. One side of him was sort of - for lack of a better term - pulverized from the impact of falling into the ocean from such a high altitude even for angels. And then there were his wings that had been strained far too much, which Balthazar realized was partly his own doing.

Balthazar merely nodded as Mumiah, with Castiel, went further away from him.

"We will discuss the matter of your punishment, by the way. Don't think that you and Castiel can get away with breaking into the Garden _and_ coming down to Earth." said Mumiah just before he went into the doors of the Infirmary.

Balthazar did not care about the punishments anymore. He just wanted his brother back.

When he looked up, the last thing he saw was Castiel's wingtip helplessly sticking out in a manner that almost pleaded him not to leave. The doors closed and locked before Balthazar could follow.

O_x

Balthazar did not know how long he had been waiting in the halls, but it was long enough for him to lose concept of time. He had been getting more and more restless every time he glanced at the closed doors of the Infirmary. His wings were itching to fly, thrash the whole place, virtually anything that involved him doing something. He hated waiting, hated it because he felt so contained. It was making him insane, and the fact that there was absolutely nothing here to entertain himself with just made it worse.

Despite this, he could not bring himself to leave. Even if he really, really wanted to, he could not because Mumiah had the entire Infirmary locked down, which was mostly to ensure that Balthazar would not go flying off to escape his punishment again, as if he had not already learned his lesson.

His and Castiel's superiors had already dropped by to pay him a brief visit before the lockdown happened. Needless to say that unpleasant words had been exchanged and an unequally unpleasant future was waiting. For Balthazar though, this waiting was punishment enough.

Then, he sensed the doors leading into the Infirmary opening to a crack.

"Castiel!" Balthazar happily cried out. Before he could stop himself, he was flying at full speed to reach his brother and pull him into an embrace. He was alright, just like Mumiah said. He was bright again and his Grace was as noticeable as a beacon. His form was as good as new and his wings were a sight to behold once more, even though they looked a little ruffled.

But most importantly, he was alive and well.

Balthazar could feel that Castiel was taken aback by his greeting, his blue orbs wide in surprise and curiosity and his head tilted slightly in what room was available. Balthazar had to wonder if Castiel even remembered what had happened, but when his brother returned the gesture - hesitantly at first, then with a force that matched his - Balthazar's worries eddied.

"Are you alright?" he asked Castiel once they broke apart.

"I'm fine." said Castiel, and hearing him say those words had never felt so good. "Thank you for keeping me safe."

"It's because of me you got into this mess in the first place." said Balthazar.

"But you never abandoned me once, so thank you."

That was true enough, albeit that did not make Balthazar feel all that better.

"What was… 'sleeping' like?" Balthazar asked, changing the subject.

A haze entered Castiel's eyes, as if he was trying to retrieve something that was buried deep within. "I don't remember." he said distantly, almost like he was calling out from a faraway place.

"Did it hurt?" inquired Balthazar.

For a moment, Castiel did not look like he was willing to give an answer. "No, not really. I'm not sure." he replied, and he truly appeared as if he did not want to recall any details about it anymore. Balthazar could respect that, that was why he let Castiel steer them onto a different topic.

"I heard that a punishment awaits us," he said.

Balthazar's wings puffed out a bit in annoyance at their superiors. "I managed to convince them to place a heavier burden on me though, since I'm the one primarily responsible." he admitted.

Castiel's eyes glowed brighter and widened again; Balthazar just returned his response with a dismissive pulse from his Grace. Balthazar figured that that was the least he could do for his brother.

"So we're just going to wait here for our punishment then?" Castiel asked, and in spite of the fact that he did not say it out loud, the 'thank you' was more than visible.

"Unless you have a better idea," huffed out Balthazar.

"I do."

As Balthazar was about to ask what he meant by that, he abruptly stopped at the sight of what Castiel currently had in his possession.

"Are those the keys?" Balthazar asked, dumbstruck.

"Yes." responded Castiel bluntly.

"How did you get them from Mumiah?" he wildly inquired.

"I stole them."

Now it was Balthazar's turn to be the victim of pure surprise. Castiel - good, rule-abiding, disciplined Castiel - had just taken something that did not belong to him without permission, and he was showing off his act like it was an achievement. Balthazar stared incredulously at his brother who, instead of displaying anything that even remotely resembled shame or self-disgust, was flashing him a bright, genuine smile.

After everything they had been through, after the massive emotional turmoil that no angel was permitted to experience, Balthazar just had to laugh. He laughed like today was the best day ever in creation, and the bitterness and fear that had stirred his Grace evaporated instantly from him. In a way, he supposed this was that kind of day.

"I believe I'm a bad influence on you." Balthazar chuckled.

He laughed again, and this time Castiel joined him. They laughed all the way out of the Infirmary.

O_x

" _I need your help."_

" _I know. I've been hearing all about you, and as far as I'm concerned, you and me, Cas... Nothing's changed. We're brothers. Of course I want to help you."_

Fin (for this mini-story).


End file.
